-24 Roses

Build a Man, Return a Boy 💋
Spotted: the girls fresh out of the gym, spilling everything at the sleepover. Tonight we’re talking dream men, dating disasters, situationships, and that “girl best friend” he swears you shouldn’t worry about. The group chat has thoughts. 👀
We train hard, know what we want, and expect a man who means what he says. No guessing games. No competing for attention. And absolutely no lowering our boundaries because he looks good in a pump cover.
Good men are out there, babe. Until then, pass the snacks. We’ve got standards to discuss and stories to tell. 🍷🍑

Spotted: one very hot Church Guy on the fast track to becoming a dating miracle. ⛪️👀
Cute face. Great body. Sexy voice notes. Picking me up and twirling me around like perhaps, after 24 Roses, the dating gods had finally decided I'd suffered enough.
And I couldn't help but wonder…
Had the Lord finally answered my prayers, or was this just another man with good arms and bad judgment?
Oh, ladies.
We got our answer.
Because somewhere between flirting and fellowship, Church Guy became OCTOMAN. 🐙
Hands here. Hands there. Hands are apparently multiplying by the minute.
Sir, this is a date, not an eight-limbed group project.
And just when I thought we had reached our maximum capacity for foolishness…
A banana entered the ministry. 🍌
Water.
Condensation.
A deeply unfortunate attempt at being sexy.
And suddenly I found myself wondering:
How can a man look so good… and talk himself out of being attractive so efficiently?
Because darling, he had the job.
The application was approved.
All he had to do was sit there, look pretty, and mind his ministry.
Instead?
He chose moisture.
And just like that, my attraction wasn't lost.
It was raptured. 🕊️
So grab your Bible, take your seat in the front pew, and pour the communion wine generously.
This week, we're talking Octoman, wandering hands, one scandalous piece of produce, and the exact moment a hot man got himself excommunicated from my dating congregation.
Last week: –24 Roses. 🌹
This week: Jesus Take the Banana Please. 🍌
And remember, ladies:
Some men lose you to another man.
Some lose you to bad behavior.
And some?
Lose you to condensation.
You know you love the mess.
Amen & next. 💋⛪️

He brought me roses, coffee, muffins, dinner, and Disneyland plans. I thought I was getting a love story. Turns out, I was getting evidence. 🌹🚩
Because in Part 2, I SPOKE TO HIS WIFE. His pregnant wife.
We compared notes, lined up the timeline, and watched Prince Charming’s whole act fall apart. The man who was busy making me feel special had a wife at home carrying his baby. Sir, what exactly was the plan here?
He got caught red-handed. The verdict? Guilty. The sentence? Straight to the trash, where he belongs.
The trash took itself out, but the receipts deserve their own episode. Press play for the conversation, the plot twists, and the moment those roses started looking like red flags. 🎙️🌹

24 roses. 🌹 Donuts for my coworkers. Coffee and muffins. Dinner for my mom. Disneyland plans.
All in about SEVEN DAYS.
He may be in the military, but DAMN… I did not order a love bomb. 💣🌹
What started as a whirlwind week of grand gestures and “Wait… did I actually meet Prince Charming?” quickly turned into me realizing that something was very, VERY off.
In this episode, I’m spilling the story behind the roses, the spoiling, the conversations that made my gut start screaming, and the plot twist that turned my little Hallmark romance into something that felt a whole lot more like Dateline.
Names and identifying details are staying private—but the dating lessons, red flags, and absolute AUDACITY are fair game.
So grab your margarita, pre-workout, coffee, or emotional-support water bottle and come unpack this disaster with me.
Because apparently my dating life needed its own podcast. 🎙️
🌹 Dating disasters | 🚩 Red flags | 💀 True-crime energy | 🏋🏼‍♀️ Gym therapy | 🍸 Girl talk
Roses are red. Flags are too.